The Brain is a Discounting Mechanism

Have you heard this expression before? I’d love to tell you that it’s a concept that I read about in some science journal, and indeed, it has been discussed in depth in publications like Psychology Today. This topic has far-reaching implications, from wealth management to weight management. Of course, when I read about it, I applied its premise to my love of loves - interior design. I don’t think its application in this way has been explored yet…so I’ll do it! For some of you, this may sound familiar if you’ve read the book, Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend.

“Have you ever heard that the brain is a discounting mechanism?”

“No.”

“Let’s say you get a present and open it and it’s a fabulous diamond necklace. Initially, you’re delirious with happiness, jumping up and down, you’re so excited. The next day, the necklace still makes you happy, but less so. After a year, you see the necklace and you think, Oh, that old thing. It’s the same for negative emotions. Let’s say you get a crack in your windshield and you’re really upset. Oh no, my windshield, it’s ruined. I can hardly see out of it, this is a tragedy! But you don’t have enough money to fix it, so you drive with it. In a month, someone asks you what happened to your windshield, and you say, What do you mean? Because your brain has discounted it.”

You know why your brain does that?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“It’s for survival. You need to be prepared for novel experiences because they often signal danger. If you live in a jungle full of fragrant flowers, you have to stop being so overwhelmed by the lovely smell because otherwise you couldn’t smell a predator. That’s why your brain is considered a discounting mechanism. It’s literally a matter of survival.”

Most of us know that shiny new things lose their appeal over time. But somehow reading that this is an innate sense developed physiologically for survival really drives the point home, doesn’t it?

My clients know I’m all about a budget. And don’t confuse budget with frugal or cheap. I have clients in homes that range from modest to mansion, and I’m here to tell you - everyone functions more comfortably within a budget. I cannot overstate this. Kids need boundaries, and we do, too. Without a budget, each purchase is a source of angst, an internal struggle between should and shouldn’t, practical and excessive. Who wants to deal with that EVERY TIME YOU MAKE A SELECTION?! Get all of that anxiety out of the way once and for all, in the beginning, and set a budget. After that, your budget is my problem. Not yours.

Prior to a career in design, I worked in oil and gas, which is a very volatile industry, and a common one here in the greater Houston area. There were two magnates I adored and knew personally. One bankrupted himself building a $60 million home in a gorgeous resort town. The other committed suicide because he feared bankruptcy. Tragic losses. Even the mighty fall, and it was made clear to me that no matter your finances, planning and fiscal responsibility are fundamental.

That’s what you get with me - a Type A Creative. I sweat the small stuff, and your happiness is what matters most. We know now that our brains are wired to get used to whatever we have. In a year, your beautiful home (and we can make it beautiful within any budget), will still be beautiful, and you’ll be totally used to it. WIll you be comfortable? Will you feel peace when you’re unwinding after a long day?

Think positively - if you work at a pace you can afford, you accomplish your goals over a greater span of time, prolonging your happiness. Trust me, I know how difficult it can be, but experience has taught me that this truly is the case. The discipline will be worth it. It’s too easy to say, “Well, we might as well,” when you’re feeling overwhelmed and just want everything to be done. But if it causes discord within your relationship or makes you uncomfortable and worried about the future, then take a beat and decide if that choice is worth your sanity.

After all, what good is that stunning bedroom if you can’t lay your head down at night and get a good night’s rest?

You can have luxury, and you can have beauty. I’m not against big budgets. Quite the opposite - I love big budgets! Just set a budget that is realistic and, remember, your mind is a discounting mechanism. Your brain is wired to adapt to its environment - it has already discounted the old things but is excited about the new. Make the hard decisions about cost once, then forget about it and enjoy the ride! Your survival depends on it.

“There are people who have money and people who are rich.” -Coco Chanel

The goal should be to have money at the end of your project and feel rich while you’re enjoying it.

Totally doable.
Caron Woolsey

An Empty Canvas is Full

Full disclosure - that’s not my line. The quote, “An empty canvas is full,” can be attributed to Robert Rauschenberg, a celebrated painter and graphic artist. Today, however, I’d like to explore this concept from perhaps a slightly different perspective than Robert intended. I’m going to define my canvas as the space in which one lives - and in this instance, from the perspective of mothers of young children.

As outlined in my blog intro, the focus of The Psychological Blueprint is to explore interior design while considering the psychology that drives peoples’ choices based on specific conditions, particularly life phases. It is not my intention to generalize people as to exclude the wonderful peculiarities that define our styles. This is simply a blueprint - we get to fill in our own details.

All that said, one trend that I have seen repeated among mothers of young children is a desire for a design that is dominated by shades of white, with natural materials and earth tones incorporated. This is fascinating - I believe there are many reasons for this. Some are obvious; others less so. Let’s examine.

What adjectives pop into one’s mind when imagining babies, toddlers, kindergarteners? Adorable, loving, precious chubby fingers, giggles, drool…and messes on an epic scale. Spit up, diaper disasters, cracker crumbs, finger paint on those precious chubby fingers. So why white? Moms like white homes for the same reason that many people love white kitchens. Yes, it shows dirt. But then you can see the dirt, you can clean the dirt, you can bleach to your heart’s content, knowing that you are doing your job as a mom to provide a clean and safe environment for your family. It’s parenting 101. Keep ‘em clean. Done and done.

Furthermore, new parents are typically on some kind of budget. No matter your income, we can all agree that adding another person to the family has a significant impact on the pocketbook. Attractive options at almost all price points are available in white. A white slipcovered Ektorp sofa from Ikea looks amazing when paired with plants, wood tables, and a few fun pillows. Every modern farmhouse girl’s dream! Designers have built empires based on this fundamental truth. It’s affordable, practical, accessible, and virtually timeless. White palettes can be made traditional, transitional, mid-century, or modern based on the lines of the pieces, well chosen artwork, and accessories. Not to mention the fact that the neutrality makes it pretty easy to incorporate your existing belongings into a new design. If you can log on to the internet, it does not take a huge budget or team of stylists to realize your dream space. It can work in any home, anywhere. What’s not to love about that?

But if we were to continue our examination of a mother’s affinity for white spaces and natural materials, we’d have to pivot to a more existential evaluation. Ask any mother of young children (heck, any mother…but those with young children in particular), what they desire most for themselves, and the overwhelming responses are: peace, quiet, focus, tranquility, calm, rest. Elimination from distraction. The conversion from independent adult to full-blown caregiver of a helpless baby whom you love more than words can say is overwhelming - figuratively and literally. A soft, clean space that is largely devoid of pattern and color allows a mind to rest. A young mother can discern more easily anything out of place or potentially harmful to her children, allowing her brain to relax. Calm down. The incorporation of natural materials also indicates a use of renewable resources, which is likely influenced by a desire to protect the world for our future generations. The psychological benefits of spaces designed in this way and their benefits on general well-being, focus, efficiency, have caught the attention of several Fortune-500 companies who’ve implemented “Zen spaces,” or “Meditation Rooms” for employees. The reasoning is simple – when you’re expending tons of mental energy creating, problem-solving, and innovating, you need somewhere to recharge. Ha! They take the credit - but MOMS had this figured out long before corporate America validated it.

So to all the moms out there - what started out as a simple couch selection or paint color is clearly influenced by a deeper set of priorities, whether we acknowledge this or not. Women have evolved over the course of many millennia to protect and care for our young. We are smart, strong, perceptive and capable. Heave that big sigh of relief. Be in the moment, cherish your children, remain calm. Suddenly, you can enjoy your empty canvas that is truly full - full of love and safety, with your mind focused on what matters most.

Caron Woolsey

To Thine Own Self Be True

Perhaps it’s age, experience, or some combination of the two, but I’ve come to realize that many of us fall into predictable “decorative driver” categories depending on what life phase or circumstance we are in currently. Furthermore, there’s a likely evolution into what the next phase will bring in terms of needs and wants. I see it in myself looking back, though I’m not sure I was really cognizant of it at the time. It’s hard to see the forest through the trees sometimes. However, when we evaluate our own life phase and take a step back, I think we can all agree that our needs can be assessed pretty effectively. Here are a few of the categories I’ve come to note mentally and consider from a decorator’s perspective:

• Families with young children
• Families with teenagers
• Empty Nesters
• Baby Boomers
• Type A personalities
• Type B personalities
• Conformist
• Non-conformist
• Analytical thinkers
• Creative Thinkers
• DINKS (Dual Income No Kids)
• New Home Blended Family
• Societal Prominence – generational
• Societal Prominence – entrepreneur
• Animal Rescuers…oh, the animal rescuers

Does my classification of prospective clients in this way negate my acknowledgment that everyone is unique and that a space should tell one’s own story? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Let me shout that from the rooftops. This is simply the construct I’ve built over time as a shortcut to the superficial needs that each life situation demands. Of course no one can be encapsulated so plainly – nor should they be!

Let it be said that I have an affection for my people in each and every one of these categories. We are all typically some combination of one or two or three of these subsets. For example, I am a Type A Mother of Young Children (rapidly approaching teenager status - gasp) who is a Creative Thinker. My husband is a Type B Analytical Thinker.

I’ve actually decorated spaces for cross-sections of all of the above, and we’ve managed to accomplish their desired goals in terms of function and form for their projects. All unique, all lovely, and all practical.

In the coming weeks I’d like to explore each of these categories in depth with a post dedicated to each one. Likely I’ll think of more along the way, too!

As the French philosopher Auguste Comte would say, “Know yourself to improve yourself.” Perhaps he would also say, “Know yourself to home-improve yourself.”

Just sayin’.
Caron Woolsey