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“Have you ever heard that the brain is a discounting mechanism?”
“No.”
“Let’s say you get a present and open it and it’s a fabulous diamond necklace. Initially, you’re delirious with happiness, jumping up and down, you’re so excited. The next day, the necklace still makes you happy, but less so. After a year, you see the necklace and you think, Oh, that old thing. It’s the same for negative emotions. Let’s say you get a crack in your windshield and you’re really upset. Oh no, my windshield, it’s ruined. I can hardly see out of it, this is a tragedy! But you don’t have enough money to fix it, so you drive with it. In a month, someone asks you what happened to your windshield, and you say, What do you mean? Because your brain has discounted it.”
You know why your brain does that?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“It’s for survival. You need to be prepared for novel experiences because they often signal danger. If you live in a jungle full of fragrant flowers, you have to stop being so overwhelmed by the lovely smell because otherwise you couldn’t smell a predator. That’s why your brain is considered a discounting mechanism. It’s literally a matter of survival.”
Most of us know that shiny new things lose their appeal over time. But somehow reading that this is an innate sense developed physiologically for survival really drives the point home, doesn’t it?
My clients know I’m all about a budget. And don’t confuse budget with frugal or cheap. I have clients in homes that range from modest to mansion, and I’m here to tell you - everyone functions more comfortably within a budget. I cannot overstate this. Kids need boundaries, and we do, too. Without a budget, each purchase is a source of angst, an internal struggle between should and shouldn’t, practical and excessive. Who wants to deal with that EVERY TIME YOU MAKE A SELECTION?! Get all of that anxiety out of the way once and for all, in the beginning, and set a budget. After that, your budget is my problem. Not yours.
Prior to a career in design, I worked in oil and gas, which is a very volatile industry, and a common one here in the greater Houston area. There were two magnates I adored and knew personally. One bankrupted himself building a $60 million home in a gorgeous resort town. The other committed suicide because he feared bankruptcy. Tragic losses. Even the mighty fall, and it was made clear to me that no matter your finances, planning and fiscal responsibility are fundamental.
That’s what you get with me - a Type A Creative. I sweat the small stuff, and your happiness is what matters most. We know now that our brains are wired to get used to whatever we have. In a year, your beautiful home (and we can make it beautiful within any budget), will still be beautiful, and you’ll be totally used to it. WIll you be comfortable? Will you feel peace when you’re unwinding after a long day?
Think positively - if you work at a pace you can afford, you accomplish your goals over a greater span of time, prolonging your happiness. Trust me, I know how difficult it can be, but experience has taught me that this truly is the case. The discipline will be worth it. It’s too easy to say, “Well, we might as well,” when you’re feeling overwhelmed and just want everything to be done. But if it causes discord within your relationship or makes you uncomfortable and worried about the future, then take a beat and decide if that choice is worth your sanity.
After all, what good is that stunning bedroom if you can’t lay your head down at night and get a good night’s rest?
You can have luxury, and you can have beauty. I’m not against big budgets. Quite the opposite - I love big budgets! Just set a budget that is realistic and, remember, your mind is a discounting mechanism. Your brain is wired to adapt to its environment - it has already discounted the old things but is excited about the new. Make the hard decisions about cost once, then forget about it and enjoy the ride! Your survival depends on it.
“There are people who have money and people who are rich.” -Coco Chanel
The goal should be to have money at the end of your project and feel rich while you’re enjoying it.
Totally doable.
Caron Woolsey